Question.

When someone can automatically read you,
and they can see through you within an instant...
Do you go running away or do you stay to play the game?

And There Is Something About You.

That Is Driving Me Insane....


"Do I have to spell it out for you, or
scream it in your face? Oh, the chemistry
between us could destroy this place..."

Oh stop right there...I know...we've got something special here.

Chemistry is chemistry, and when it is felt
to the amount of such intensity that you feel like
your body can't handle it anymore, don't let that
get away. Hold onto that chemistry for as long
as you can. Hold on for as long as you can.

3 am Tears.

I often find myself crying at this hour.
I wish I could cry alone though. 
For some reason at this time of
night, certain thoughts hit me.
And they hit me hard.


I have this paranoia.
Paranoia of life. I constantly 
fear love, failure, people, trust,
school, death and just life in general.
Everything around me terrifies me.


Sometimes I wonder...what was I
put on this planet earth for? And why
in the sane hell can't I follow my dreams?
WHY am I stuck in a place where I
feel useless and completely powerless. 
I try, and try and all I do is fail. Thats 
not supposed to happen. Is it? NO.


I cry. And when I cry its because I'm
hurt, scared, terrified, scarred...and so on.
The list goes on and on. I am afraid
of life and what life has to offer me
or yet...what it "doesn't" have to offer me.


Sometimes, I feel absolutely worthless.
Useless. Stupid. Ugly. 
Not myself, and out of
my own damn skin..


I am scared, nay I am frightened. 

Sometimes You Need To Free The Animal Inside You.

acting out our neon woes deep into the night
we'll both fall like dominoes twisted by design
far too rare to let you go, sweet enough to keep
basking in your radiance hypnotizes me
when I touch you it's enough to free the animal inside

I'm drawn to you with no control
your mesmerizing lurid gaze ignites my soul
I'm drawn to you I can't control your magnetizing energy
I want you more and more

you and I could dance around prolonging this charade
or better yet let's improvise and play another game
take it off and turn me on don't wanna miss a thing
let's exercise our ignorance of what tomorrow brings
when I touch you it's enough to free the animal inside

I'm drawn to you with no control
your mesmerizing lurid gaze ignites my soul
I'm drawn to you I can't control your magnetizing energy
I want you more and more

My Heart Is On The Line...But You're Not Ready.

I join the queue on your answer phone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up I know you're there
Can't you hear?
I'm not myself

Well, go ahead and lie to me
You could say anything
Small talk will be just fine
Your voice is everything
We owe it to love
And it all depends on you

So listen up
The sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me you're feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(Its love on the line, can you handle it?)

So how do I do normal?
A smile I fake
the permanent wave of
cue-cards and fix-it kits
Can't you tell?
I'm not myself

I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings and fingerprints
I don't wanna feel anything but I do
And it all comes back to you

So listen up
This sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me you're feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(Its love on the line, can you handle it?)

(Hear me out)
So listen up
(This time you gotta listen to me - yeah)
Look at me straight
(Hear me out)
Just hear me out
(This time you gotta listen to me - yeah)
Don't make me wait
(Hear me out)
I'm not myself
(This time you gotta listen to me - yeah)
I can't take this
(Hear me out)
Love's on the line
Is that your final answer?

I join your queue on your answer phone
And all I am is holding breath
Just pick up, I know you're there...

So listen up
This sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me you're feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet
(Its love on the line, can you handle it)
Yeah

So listen up
This sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me you're feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you, you, you, you
(Its love on the line, can you handle it)

So listen up
This sun hasn't set
(I refuse to believe that it's only me you're feeling)
Just hear me out
I'm not over you yet(Its love on the line, can you handle it)

Hallucinations

Don't you hate it when you think you
you see someone but its not the person you expect?
Or there is absolutely no one there...its all in your imagination.
All in your little tiny head that seems to misconcept the obvious. 

Recently I've been hallucinating in several
different ways. Hearing things that are
not there and seeing things that are not there.
Mostly seeing things. 


I've been seeing the people I want to see
through other people. For instance, I was
walking around my college campus today and when
I turned around I thought I saw a very good friend
of mine but then I took a second look and realized
that it wasn't anybody I knew. Other times no one
is actually there...its just me and thin air. 


I've realized these "hallucinations" keep occurring
day after day. Especially when I am stressed.
My question: Why am I hallucinating?
Is it because I actually "miss" these people
I keep thinking I'm seeing? Or is it another reason?


There has been a pattern of seeing certain people who
are not there. I only see people I care about. The 
re-occurring hallucinations is of "him." You'll be hearing
a lot about him while I'm in the healing process; I warn you now. 


Anyways, this re-occurring image of him standing
in front of me, or speaking to me; is that a sign
of healing or is that a sign of something else?
Is it a sign that my heart misses him?
Or misses the people I keep seeing?


The answer won't be clear for quite sometime.
Not until I sit down and analyze my thoughts. 
Sometimes, my heart becomes extremely
happy when I think I see someone, but in reality,
this person that I want to see is not there. 


Are my emotions so extremely strong that
I am beginning to drive myself towards insanity? 
Nay. I refuse to. However, what is it that keeps
these images in my head? Why do these images keep
popping up in my head? And why do I keep seeing
him over and over near me, when in fact, he isn't.


Does he miss me too? Is that what the universe
is trying to tell me? God knows how much I miss
this man and how much I suffer daily. I am afraid this
is a scary sign, a sign telling me that I'm gone beyond repair.
Mayday Parade is amazing. Anyways, what are these
hallucinations -- especially of him, trying to tell me? 


They're haunting me. He's haunting me.
And it's beginning to make me think.
It's beginning to frighten me.

Losing Yourself

I lost myself in the process
of finding you...and I loved
every moment of it.


I lost myself. -- yes.
However -- I found you.
Then...I found myself through you.


Is was simply....