She Will Break You.

Her art is to break you.
Her mouth bleed words --
words, that are consistently untrue.

She will never set you free.
She'l leave your heart in misery
with a beaming smile upon her face.

Your beating heart is her toy.
Her plot is to simply destroy.
She doesn't unravel. She never does.

She hides behind that mask she calls her face.
Tearing you a part without a sound, your
heart she will misplace.

Its a toy, only a toy for her.
It means nothing, nothing to her.
Yet, she fell in love knowing
all this.Yet, she fell in love
without a sound, without
a drop, without a tear
in her beating heart.

If It's Meant To Be...

If It's Meant To Be 

Then It Will Happen

Oh & Did I Mention Today

Is My Birthday? The 28th Of May!
 Happy Birthday To Me! Yay! 

Fixing

Fixing and taping and repairing. 

I'm almost whole again.

It was always you...you that

I was looking desperately for.

That hole in my chest is slowly

begin to close and it feels amazing.

Unexpected

A very unexpected breakdown happened tonight.

I seem to worry way to much about way too many things.

It's kind of draining, tiring, physically and emotionally exhausting.

I'm scared of the future and what might and might not happen.

I realized I'm still in love with you...but I miss someone else.

I was feeling so happy. I don't know how I got sucked into

this state of worry, paranoia, and lack of confidence again.

I'm too tired to handle all this over and over again. 

I need to mentally calm the fuck down.
My body is exhausted. 

Content

I am incredibly content with my life as of late.

I am happy and it feels amazing to be happy.

I can be the happiest girl alive if I take one

step...that one step which I am not sure 

I should take. Because if I do...I might 

destroy that "okay" state of mind which

I am currently in. The state of mind that I've

been struggling to reach and once I have reached

this stage its scary, taking any risky steps.
Therefore, my question is, should I take this gamble?

If I take this risk, its either nothing or everything.

If I don't, I stay content, and finally in the stage

of my recovery where I can finally say that "I am okay."

I never thought I'd reach this stage, and I finally have.

To risk it all or not to risk it all? That my dear, is the question. 

Detached & Happy

I am detached and happy.

 Happy and detached I am. 

I'm not happy because I am detached but I realized 

happiness is possible even while detaching myself. 

 I've recently been feeling confident and proud to be 

in my own skin. Such a very odd feeling for me but for 

once in my life I can say that I am "okay" with myself. 

 I'm learning to appreciate who I am

 and it is the best feeling in the world. 

That is all. :)

P.S I am A Hot Pink Tree 
(Only my Glaminar sisters will understand this)

Digging a hole and the walls are caving in
Behind me, airs gettin thin but I'm trying,
I'm breathing in, come find me

It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home...before you

And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way,
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could,
I can't get my mind off of you

I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it,
Thats part of it all, part of the beauty of falling in love with you,
Is the fear you wont fall


It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home...before you

And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could,
I can't get my mind off of you

And I hate the phone,
But I wish you'd call,
Thought being alone,
Was better than, was better than...

And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could,
I can't get my mind off of you, can't get my mind off of you

Tough Nights

Tough nights haunt me once more.

When will these tough nights go away?
Days are becoming harder. The sun is
beginning to burn. The dark is beginning
to hurt. When will this pain begin to stop?
Everything you said...running through my head.
Your words are on constant repeat...endlessly.
I would like to press pause to this pain. Please.

Touch

I find myself unable to sleep at night.
Partially because I have an incredible amount
of shit to do for college but for the most part
that is not what is on my mind. It's you.


I'm the type of person who falls quickly.
I know this about myself. Lately, Ive been
keeping my guard up because I can not 
let my body break down on me again.

I've been through too much in my lifetime
to let myself fall a part once more. I have finally
taped myself back together and picked myself up
off the floor. I sometimes find myself right where I started.
In pieces. It's scary to feel again. I've been numb for so
long it is an insanely scary to feel; to know that I can fall
so quick, so fast, so hard.

I love to love. That is who I am, without trying to be.
It is good to know I am still able to feel. It's good
not to feel numb. It's not good knowing that in order
to protect myself I need to detach myself. My walls
can not tumble down once again. Right now, in
this moment, I need to protect myself. Until
I am ready to open up once more.

You make me comfortable & I feel as if your tough is enough.
This hurts much more than I had anticipated it would.

I'm In Love...With A Stranger.

You close the doors
Make your way to me slowly
Lay down next to me
Trace the outlines of my face

This was not part of the plan
I was just on my way
You make me comfortable

This is love with a stranger
Just the touch is enough
I let go with a stranger
Just to see, if I still feel

No questions, please don't ask
Please don't worry 'bout the past
This is love with a stranger
When I walk out the door
You won't see me no more
This is love with a stranger

I drifted away
Lost myself in the current
Let my eyelids fall heavy
Hypnotized by our heart beats

This was not part of the plan
I was just on my way
You make me comfortable

This is love with a stranger
Just the touch is enough
I let go with a stranger
Just to see, if I still feel

No questions, please don't ask
Please don't worry 'bout the past
This is love with a stranger
When I walk out the door
You won't see me no more
This is love with a stranger
I barely even know your name
Be easy, let's keep it simple
Just enjoy the moment, baby
Relax and close your eyes
When you wake up in the morning light
Don't act like you're surprised
I'll disappear into the night
I'll vanish like a ghost
oooh

This is love with a stranger
Just the touch is enough
I let go with a stranger
Just to see, if I still feel
This is this is love, love with a stranger
This is this is love, love with a stranger
This is this is love, love with a stranger
This is this is love, love with a stranger