I find myself unable to sleep at night.
Partially because I have an incredible amount
of shit to do for college but for the most part
that is not what is on my mind. It's you.
I'm the type of person who falls quickly.
I know this about myself. Lately, Ive been
keeping my guard up because I can not
let my body break down on me again.
I've been through too much in my lifetime
to let myself fall a part once more. I have finally
taped myself back together and picked myself up
off the floor. I sometimes find myself right where I started.
In pieces. It's scary to feel again. I've been numb for so
long it is an insanely scary to feel; to know that I can fall
so quick, so fast, so hard.
I love to love. That is who I am, without trying to be.
It is good to know I am still able to feel. It's good
not to feel numb. It's not good knowing that in order
to protect myself I need to detach myself. My walls
can not tumble down once again. Right now, in
this moment, I need to protect myself. Until
I am ready to open up once more.
You make me comfortable & I feel as if your tough is enough.
This hurts much more than I had anticipated it would.